Silence

This is an interesting post to write. One I may delete. Rewrite. Delete. And then write again.  

The last year has been an interesting time for me.  I thought I had everything I wanted.  I thought my life was great.  

It was, don't get me wrong, it was great for me at that moment in time.  

But over the last 10 months I realized I wanted more.  I realized I was capable of giving more.  I realized I was worth more than I gave myself credit for.      

So internally I've had ups and a lot of downs.  I've struggled with 'who am I?'  

I know I'm a wife and a mother and a good one at that.  I know I'm an athlete, one that loves adrenaline and the rush of crushing a goal.  I know I'm a friend, not always the best one, but one that is there when it matters.  I know I'm a perfectionist, one that sets goal, and crushes them.  I know I'm loyal and would give someone the shirt off my back.  

I know that about me.  But there's more about me.

I just didn't know what it was.

But then this election cycle happened.  It taught me more about myself in 10 months than I had learned in the prior 35 years.

It completed my circle.  

I thought for most of my life that all I needed in life was to be a wife and a mother.

It is very clear to me today that my life would be incomplete, would be nothing, without being a wife to Ryan, mother to Sayre and Wyatt, AND a part of a greater cause.  Right now, my greater cause is working for our Senator and I couldn't be happier, I couldn't feel more complete.  

Today I finally reached that equilibrium.  

I finally reached a point where I believed enough in myself that I came to the conclusion that I can do it all and can do it all in the same fashion I've done everything else in my life.  With precision, passion, dedication, direction, and focus.  I will do it all very well in true Kate fashion.    

My brain is finally silenced.  

My brain finally caught up to my soul (that knew I could do it all along) and got on board with the current plan.

I just called and read this to someone.  This person thinks it's too personal to share, that by sharing it diminishes it's heart-felt honesty.  

But then again this is me.  Out in the open.  Susceptible to it all.